it begins with me

January 31, 2008

look at yourself and compare yourself with others. surely there are those that are greater than us and those that we are better than. but to be sure that all man are born equal. we are balanced with advantages and disadvantages that differs from each other. yet we are all of the same value initially.

but what makes us different is time. not how much we have spend, but how we have spent it. those of us who find themselves at a disadvantage are among the people that have wasted the time that is given. how we live our lives determines our state of happiness and the happiness of those around us.

At times we find ourself given a gift, present, a treat or so. there are times we are reluctant or refused to receive such kindness. think, why were we reluctant or refused? it could be from among a range of reasons, but be sure what you feel is not guilt. guilt of not giving enough, of knowing that i have given so little that what i am given is too much. ask yourself if what you have given to the people around you is enough? ask what have you have done to help? to change the world for the better? there are those that say that what we do is to small to be noticed, or that what can my contributions do to change the state of the world, i tell you now that every cent and effort that you give to the world makes a different. rain can never occur if not for the presents of each individual droplet of water.

life is a process in which we are never alone, just that we are blinded by our own manifestations of loneliness. There is a different between being alone and felling lonely, one is that you really have no one beside you, another is that you just think you are. we should treasure those that are among us and take care of them. they might not appreciate it, but if we do not care, are we not being just like them.

we need to start somewhere. we might not be helped, but we can help others. if you say that it is not fair, why should i help when others leave me, you should think that the reason they did not help you could be because no one help them. so when will this end? it will end when you make a difference no matter how small.

so weight the happiness of yourself and the people that you have made happy, for that is your value.

thats all for now…

salam

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What others think

January 22, 2008

We have heard people say, what others think is not important. i openly do not believe in it. at first i thought it could be true. in life what others think is not important to me. but as i progress in life, i find that the opinion of others are very much important. at times more important than that of my own.

it will be hypocritical if you agree with the phrase. in anything we do or act upon. it may not be at all times, more seldom in some, but we always take into consideration of what other think.

every act of courtesy we take into consideration of the person we are courteous to. every time we perform a deed we consider what the receiver might think of it. every gift we buy we wonder what the recipient might think of it. when we achieve not only for ourself but sometimes to make others proud of us, be it parents or friends.

The very fact that we consider what others think, affects our life in a variety of ways. how we portray ourself in public. it affects how well we perform in our task. as there is a great different when we have people to support us and people who look down on us. how at times we yearn to feel appreciated. when at work what the boss thinks of us is indeed very important.

we live in a world where we are not alone. there are others struggling with us. so what others think of us is very important. ethics and morality, they are greatly based on what others think. what is morally and ethically acceptable greatly depends from the societies we are in.

we cant escape from what others think. the moment a remark form others stirs an emotion in us, we already fall prey to what others think. what other think is not all bad, neither is it good all the time. what we can do is to reinforce it with what we think. but there are times that we must learn to yield to what others think.

thats all for now…

salam


The day is here…

November 18, 2007

Finally, it has come. after today i will no longer have purpose to return save to clear my stuff. its kind of sad leaving tough. i will miss all of them especially the toys, lol. i definitely wont miss the people up there. may they be blessed, guided and may they prosper. no much use bearing grudges and all that.

its time i close this chapter of my life and begin to write anew. all the lessons that i have learn, i will treasure. all the time i have spend i know i have not wasted. i have gain so much more than i have given yet i have only attain so little to what awaits me. all the people i have met this past four years i will never forget their faces. each time they greet me in the morning with a smile, at least most of the time, lol.

I never knew that i can learn so much from just watching children. they live in a world without politics. in a world of constant diplomacy.  they are at times greedy yet at the next second show great generosity. they are able to forgive so easily but i do not believe forget as easily. but most importantly i learn that each child is unique if u place close attention, children are as each child is.

but my time with them has now ended. we all will need to make decisions in our life at one point or another. its just a matter how of big or small the decisions is. apparently i chose to leave. it may be a bad decision or it may be good one, only time will tell. until that time comes, i see it fit to end this post as how i have began my letters while in office this past four years.

May this letter find you in good health, Iman and under the grace of Allah, insya’allah.

salam


Remember

October 31, 2007

Remember
I will still be here
As long as you hold me
In your memory

Remember
When your dreams have ended
Time can be transcended
Just remember me

I am the one star that keeps burning
So brightly
It is the last light
To fade into the rising sun

I’m with you whenever you tell
My story
For I am all I’ve done

Remember
I will still be here
As long as you hold me
In your memory
Remember me

I am that warm voice in the cold wind
That whispers
And if you listen
You’ll hear me call across the sky

As long as I still can reach out
And touch you
Then I will never die

Remember
I’ll never leave you
If you will only
Remember me

Remember
I will still be here
As long as you hold me
In your memory

Remember
When your dreams have ended
Time can be transcended
I live forever
Remember me
Remember me

Remember me


stranger

October 29, 2007

i’m going 18 in less than 2 months. there was someone who i met quite some time ago while i was having lunch,we at the same table. he asked me how old i was, back then i was 14. then he asked if i’m schooling, i replied i am a secondary student. he said good, continue to study. then he went telling how he regret that he played around when he was in school and now he’s paying for it.

I can never forget his face, especially his eyes. it was like tears was welling up. after he told me his story he just went silent till i finished my lunch and left. said goodbye, he replied with a faint smile.


Ketupat!!!

October 11, 2007

lol, making ketupat now in front of my laptop and tv, so taking a break lol… i dun really like making ketupat, lol…

this is in english, so u can understand lol… this kind of make rethink again how parents spend on us without asking a return. sure once in awhile they do ask for a return, but if we as the children do not return it they will be sure to for go it.

this one is about putting on sit belt, lol.

this one just made me teared, the father is reading his late wife diary. then he asked what bird that is. he kept asking till the son gets frustrated. the he ask the son to read the diary entry. which reveals that when he was young he did the same thing but the father just kept answering.

thats all for now…

salam


I, Being a Muslim (part 1)

September 25, 2007

My younger years – My choice as a Muslim

I am born to Muslim parents. As such I was raised a muslim. Thought Islam since I could remember. I went to an Islamic Kindergarten. there I learn the concept of Islam and its pillars. I never really paid much heed to existent of other religion. All this began to change when I move to primary school. When my parents decided that I would go to a secular school instead, I never really understood why till I was older.

I was raised in strict islamic teachings or one might call it style. From a very young age I was taught sirah(History of Muhammad s.a.w), the Quran and Shariah(Islamic law). During those younger time I did not understand much of their significants, I just followed the rule. As I got older I slowly began to understand.

As I moved on to primary school, a secular one, I was also sent to a weekly religious classes. From my secular school(SS) I was introduce to different races, culture and religion. At first it was a bit strange. I would usually hang around other malay muslim friends. Than slowly over time we manage to get along quite fine with other classmates. During this interaction is where I learn that there are differences between my religion and theirs, but one thing stays the same is that we pray to God.

I began to question my parents and religious school(RS) teachers about other religions. Fortunately, my RS teachers were former student of my grandfather. So they said that Islam is my religion and for me to learn about the religion of others I must first learn about my own. Yet again I did not understand this. So I never asked them again about it again. Instead asked my friends, but most of the time we never ventured far just touching the surface.

During those primary years especially during primary 5&6 I studied deeper into Islam. I was introduced to fiqh(Islamic practices), akhlaq(Islam conduct), tajweed(Quranic pronunciations), tafsir(Quran interpretation) and hadith(Islamic Narations). Though I was only introduced to the surfaces of this subjects, I was amazed at how Islam/religion does not only teaches us about God but also how we live. I learn that the Shariah and Islam is derived from the Quran and hadith and in any case where I have question or doubts I have a source to turn to. With this I became less dependent on my teachers and parents for my answers.

With the books available in my home such a task of self learning is never impossible. With books such as Taisiirul ‘Alaam(A collection narrations), Tafsir ibnu Khatir(Interpretation of the Quran) and the Fathul Bahri(another collection of narration).

The Taisiirul ‘Alaam was used when I was in primary 5&6 up to my secondary years. This book helped me understand more of the practices of Islam. It is this 800++ pages book that I used to study fiqh.

Tafsir ibnu Khatir, was used by me to study the Quran deeper thus helped me understand previous questions I have about Islam. I only found this book in my secondary years though it had been there all the while.

The Fathul Bahri, this is a large set of books. Each book is the size of an A4 paper and as thick as Harry potter and the chambers of secret the paper back. Here is a collection of narration more complete than that of the Taisiirul ‘Alaam.

Through this books I learn Islam from its source. Not from Ustaz(religious teachers) who might have meddled their own opinions Or from false interpretations and narrations. My father always tells me that to learn Islam one cannot only depend on the teaching of others wholly, one must also learn to verify what was taught. This way we will never be lost or let astray.

Till the age of 12, around primary six-secondary one, I was a muslim by heritage and upbringing. I never really had a choice over my religion. Before that age I mostly assume that we are born into a religion. The thought of conversion just never existed. Then, I heard the stories of people converting into Islam and out of Islam. This time I asked My father, he answered they may have discover things that draws them to a religion, God will guide who god wills. Then a question came to me later, which I found an answer to,

2.256
“There is no compulsion in religion: Truth stands out clear from Error: whoever rejects evil and believes in God hath grasped the most trustworthy hand-hold, that never breaks. And
God heareth and knoweth all things.”

I have made my choice, I was Muslim by heritage and upbringing, now I am a Muslim by choice.

I will paused here for now…

salam