Hari Raya countdown

September 30, 2008

hmm Ramadan is almost over. this means i can eat during the day again, lol…

but this year its like to fast, fasting, lol. As i grow older i begin to enjoy fasting more than hari raya, lol. when i was young i would be so exited that Ramadan is ending. now is like, why has Ramadan ended so quickly. its strange especially if you are not a Muslim. As you begin to embrace the meaning of Ramadan. you find that its not about the celebration at its end but the time spent to reach it. Ramadan is a time for sacrifice and patience, it teaches self discipline and empathy. Ramadan brings the best out of people and expose the weakness of us. it shows ourselves, how much we can tolerate and how far we are willing to go.

a few of the great things to look forward too during Ramadan is breaking fast, lol. no its not the food. but the company that surrounds you while you consume it. then there is the nights leading to its end, and the ramadan bazaar.

now that its the last day of Ramadan its a sad day indeed.


from japan

July 14, 2008

to got home and helped my mother prepare some food that people ordered. then played with my cousin, lol. she is playing with an elephant shaped plant waterer. nothing much happen today, lol.

today hand washed a piece of fabric that i bought near 4 years in mecca. its a square piece of cloth abt 1meter in width. the fabric is woven in japan. its full of memory of when i was there, i nvr go out of my room without that piece of cloth

thats all for now…



July 14, 2008

A few hours ago, one of my great uncles passed on. a few days back an uncle passed on. one thing that is certain in all life, is death. I am taught that the time of our death, to the very fractions of a second had been made certain. that there is no way it can be extended or shortened.

but i’m here to talk about funerals. In Islam, a funeral is more than just a last gathering for th parted. it is more than a session of mourning and prayers. it is a reminder for those that are living. that we are here today for a short period of time. a few days back my uncle passed. it sad but i suppose i still need to live. i helped prepare his body for burial along side his son. as we touch his soulless body, it reminds us that we are only mortal. one day i will be lying there and someone else will be preparing me as i am preparing my uncle then.

once he is ready he is wrapped in the three layers of white linen and a layer of cotton. then we carried him out to be kissed a last time by his love ones. it will be sad if no one was there to gather ard you for a last time. so then we prepare for prayer. yet another reminder to us to pray before we are prayed for, to stand behind the imam before u lay before him. we proceed to bury him. and as i pass before the graves of those who have came before, i know that one day i will be lying there with them.

my father always say that funerals are nvr for the dead they are for the living. there is saying that we are born crying when those ard us will smile with joy, and when we depart our soul smile while those ard u weep for their lost.

thats all for now…


long DUE

June 5, 2008

My IPP is long over now its time for FYP, lol. sit in a fish tank like room with 7 other guys from 8.30 to 6 everyday, lol, wad  a “happy” life. still not very sure what i will be doing so, hanging in there, lolol. due to privacy and self preservation i will not elaborate how i spend my time during FYP, lol

next a long overdue thanks to Kim Ann and Jie Ming for getting me a weiqi set, yay, lol. they got me Yunzi (reportedly high quality stones made in yunan) from chendu, lol thanks guys!!.

theres not other developments currently, life good nothing much to complain, lol.

more post tmr since i suddenly ran out of things to blog abt, lol. AND COMMENT PPL COMMENT.

thats all for now…


My Family, part1

April 22, 2008

i guess i was moved to blog about them, after all its not fair that everything here is about me right. let me introduce my family, in this case my closest family. i have my 2 parents, father mother, and 2 younger sibling a brother and sister.

what do i think about family.
I think that family are the most important people in my life. the first ppl to greet me and i among the first to greet them. what do i mean by this? i mean that on the day we are born the first few ppl to greet us are our family of course there are the nurses and doctors but they are just help. family is wad kept you safe while you are n your mother’s womb. and when ur siblings are born u are among the first few to greet them. they are who kept me going, they provided me with as much as they can offer. they give me a feeling of warmth when i am ard them. i believe that family is all that we truly have when we are down. when the world hates you, when society shuns you, i know they will be there.

now lets come back to my family.
my father – a very strict and disciplined man. ever prepared and seem to posses an unending amount of knowledge. you could say he rules with an iron fist and a heart that melts like butter. he will always hesitate to cane us if we did wrong, bt he will nvr cane us if we do not deserve it. my father is a very charismatic person able to soften the hardest of heart and minds. he has many who would follow his lead, even to the edge of the universe, trust me. he does extensive charity works, setting up education classes most of the time this classes only break even and when it does lose, he seems nvr to hesitate to use his own money. even with all that he does, he nvr neglected the family, brings us out on dinners, vacations, movies, bowling, just abt anything. he is someone i look up to, and i pray i can be half the man he is.

my father is stubborn and almost always wants and gets his way, its nt really a bad thing. he takes advise from ppl but makes his own mind. he is extremely patient, bt if u anger him, i suggest u move to mars. but he also very quick to cool down. he is the spontaneous, last minute, yet organized and very decisive.

my mother – unlike my father she isnt as strict bt she does most of the canning and scolding and nagging, lets just put it that she is not very forgiving and has a shorter fuse, lol. she cooks every single day except on sundays and public holidays. she does my laundry, iron my clothes, clean my room, wakes me up, teach me to read and write, so basically she is wonder woman. of course now that i am older, she still does most of the stuff, lol. bt i help clean more now, change the curtain, vacuum the floor, wash the dishes. she is really someone i cant live without. when i was in primary school, she will be the one teaching me my homework weather it be math English art Malay except science, she is the one stop learning center, lol.

my mother is i can say less stubborn. she tends to make a decision on the advise of others, she is the family finance and home affairs minister. while my father is the minister for manpower and foreign affairs, lol.i am currently the minister for education, lol. she is quick to anger and slow to cool, she is the forgive and do not forget type of person.

hmm, getting sleepy now so i’ll continue abt my siblings tmr

thats all for now…


Relaku Pujuk – Spider

January 24, 2008

ku dikejar bayang-bayang resah,
(i am chased by the shadows of despair)
bila hatimu masih tak berubah,
(when your heart still won’t change)
enggan di punah, dan di penjara,
(won’t be tamed, and restricted)
belaian cintaku ini….
(by my persuasion of love)

aku bukan lelaki yang tewas,
(i am not a man who is defeated)
bisa meradang walau ku di tolak,
bila di uji, kanan dan kiri
(when tested, from the right and left)
kau kan tetap ku miliki,
(you will be mine)

tiada lafaz yang lebih agung,
(there’s no recitation more great)
kalimah cintamu,
(your words of love)
yang ku tunggu-tunggu,
(that i am waiting for)
biar jasadku yang menanggung,
(let my body take)
permainan darimu,
(the games that you play)
rela ku pujuk
(i am willing to persuade)

janganlah kau salahkan aku,
(don’t you wrong me)
terus memburu menawan cintamu,
(always trying to charm your love)
daku percaya…sedikit masa
(i believe…a little time)
kau kecundang…akhirnya
(you will topple…in the end)

usahlah kau bersedih
(there’s no need for you to be sad)
di hadapanmu aku hadir,
(before you i am present)
memadam resah dan curiga
(to vanquish despair and suspicion)
dari hatimu…
(from your heart)

apa yang kau ingini,
(what you want)
bisa kau tolak dan berlari,
(you may push aside and run)
setelah aku…
(after i)
azimat ku…
(my resolution)


December 15, 2007

I cant really remember my house being quiet on a weekday, only once in a while i am able to enjoy some silence during Saturdays. even tough i only have 2 siblings, 2 parents, plus me so that makes 5 of us. there is the 2 “cousins” who my mother looks after for the past 4 yrs alrd, then there is my cousin, still a baby, which my mother looks after oso. then there is her brother who my my mother looks after when there is school holiday or when he doesnt tuition. then the is his sister who comes during holidays also. so that makes 10 of us. then there is the ever so often my cousins who would visit to play my com. so there are ard 10 – 12 ppl in my house.

because of this the house becomes very cramp and noisy. the kitchen is like nvr clean, lol… there is no point cleaning things also, it will get messy again. the only time the house is quiet is at night when they go home, but once in a while they will sleep over… Saturdays and Sundays will be quiet also, but i wont be home to enjoy it. so it makes me appreciate every moment of silence i can cherish.

I use to be very close with all my cousins, lol, to many to name. but nowadays that we’ve grown up and all, we don’t really spend much time together except during Eid or weddings. with school and a few of them got married and start working, we cant really find much time to get together. when we were young we always played lots of games, sleep overs and going out. i miss those times. how i dread growing up. all the things that we use to do, now seem so weird to even think about, lol. if only i can slow down time.

i have 23 cousins. to many 2ndcousins(grandparents siblings) to count. some known 3rdcousins(greatgrandparents siblings). most of my uncles and aunties (chlidren of my grandmothers siblings) are slightly older or younger than me, so when we were younger we use to mix ard well also.

i am the 4th living generation. my greatgrandmother is still alive. so its abit strange when i go visiting during hari raya. cause there will be someone who is younger than me, but older than me in status. so he will be calling my father abang(brother), when my cousin is older than him but calls my father cik. then there are those that roughly my father age, but call my grandmother by kakak(sister). which mean that that person is considered my fathers uncle his children my uncle their children then would be my 3rdcousins since my greatgrandmother and their grandmother are cousins.

i am confusing myself now, lol. so its quite difficult to identify whose who. and every hari raya we would meet and debate whose rank is higher or lower.

my brain is starting to hurt.

thats all fo now…